Lately, my single friends and I have heard some concerning remarks, and all I can say is that we are not happy. I understand some of these comments are meant to encourage us, but they are doing more harm than good. Sometimes, I just want to stab myself with an eye pencil or jump off a moving bus. 

Booed-up people here are things we certainly, don’t want to hear: 

Aaah! People in relationships will start giving you advice as soon as they are one week old in love. They will bother you with unnecessary details of their love life as they also remind you to be patient, your prince charming will stumble on you someday. 

But how are we supposed to stop looking for love when it’s the only thing that’s missing? It’s easy for you to tell us that because you already live in love. It’s like money won’t give happiness quote from a rich person. Obviously, we are in different lanes here. We are not the same. Kindly, let us peacefully dream of a happily ever after with any connection we make. 

As if this is encouraging enough! Most times this statement will come from people who found love in their early 20s. People who have stayed together for close to ten years or so. I find this statement to be quite heartbreaking, almost a ridicule. 

So, while you find love as soon as you scream the word love, the rest of us have to wait until we are experiencing menopause and our breasts are almost touching our feet? Forty? Are you kidding me?

This is one of those damned-if-you-do and damned-if-you-don’t situations. We are always taught to love ourselves and not settle for less because we deserve the best. But on the other hand, when we refuse breadcrumbs, we are judged for being too picky and having high standards. 

If you pick a liar or a cheat, the same people will tell you, but you knew he was like that when you met him. It’s your fault, you’ve brought this on yourself. Surely, what are we supposed to do, or who are we supposed to pick? Someone good enough for us but also bad for our mental health?

The universe can be petty and quite unfair at times. I hear this statement all the damn time. Surprisingly enough, most people in relationships barely love themselves. They are people who hardly know about boundaries, people who make their lives revolve around their partner. 

If a day goes by without their boyfriend texting or telling them they are beautiful, it feels like the end of the world. So, why is it that they get to be in relationships yet the people who love themselves, understand boundaries and are self-aware aren’t? Or are we overqualified for the job? Universe, care to explain this?

These are also the same people who will tell you, you need to learn to be alone first as if the aloneness and dry spell isn’t killing us. Honestly, where did we go wrong?

I’m sure we would be rich considering the number of times this phrase has been carelessly thrown around. I’m also sure it comes from a good place and from friends who wish us the best, but it sounds cliche. Like someone expecting us to believe in unicorns or fairy dust. 

I know it is meant to give us hope but it does quite the opposite. This usually feels like waiting for the second coming of Jesus. We know it is soon but we are not sure when. Should we sleep or eat bananas as we wait? This means being in a state of anxiously waiting for a soulmate who might walk in with one leg or one who doesn’t brush their teeth before bed. Singlehood is already bad as is. Please don’t make it worse. 

Again, why do you guys make our lives seem so miserable? Are we so rough on the edges that people can’t love us unconditionally? And it’s only after thirty years that someone will pity us and love us? 

I thought people love you in spite of your weaknesses. Why do you make it look as if you are the perfect, chosen generation and we are the ones wailing in misery waiting for someone to pick or choose us?