Learning that you are the side chick in a relationship can be an emotionally draining experience. You can get the feeling that you are being used, taken for granted, or betrayed.
If you suspect that your partner is a player and you are the side chick in his game, there are some telltale signs that can help you.
It’s important, however, to remember that every relationship is different, and these signs do not conclusively mean that you are a side chick. If you have strong doubts, it’s important to have a discussion with your partner about the nature of your relationship.
1. He Is Secretive About Your Relationship
One of the most obvious signs that you might be the side chick in your relationship is if your man doesn’t want people to know that you two are dating.
Does he avoid being seen with you in public? And when he finally agrees to take you on a date, does he take you out of town to destinations where you have zero chances of running into anyone he knows? Well, you might be the side chick.
The frequent Naivasha road trips or Diani getaways could either mean that he might be the most romantic man in Kenya, or you are just dating a very calculating married man who doesn’t want you to run into his wife and in-laws.
2. You Know Very Little About Him
Your partner being very stingy with information about himself is another sign you are his side chick.
If you have no idea where he lives and you always meet at your place, then that’s a clue that you are not the main woman in his life.
Is he vague about his job, his family, and how he spends his free time? Has he never introduced you to any of his friends? Does he get defensive when you ask him personal questions about himself? There is a chance you are his side chick, so he’s probably trying to keep things shallow with you and doesn’t want the relationship to be emotional.
3. You Are Never His First Priority
Does it always feel like your partner’s timelines define your relationship and you only meet when and where he wants to?
Do you feel that you are always available for him but he is only available for you when it’s convenient for him? And do you feel that he has disappointed you so many times you cannot even begin to count?
All these are some of the signs that you are not an important priority to him because he is already committed to another woman and you are essentially just his side chick.
4. He Rarely Stays Over
Another sign you are a side chick in the relationship is if your partner rarely ever stays over.
If he leaves shortly after sex then there is a chance that he is only with you for your body and he is avoiding any emotional attachment with you.
Of course, he could have a really good excuse, like maybe he has to be up very early, but every single time? Isn’t the idea that he has someone else to go home to more believable?
5. You Don’t See Him That Much
If your partner is already married or in a committed relationship with someone else, and possibly even has children, his spare time is already completely scheduled with commitments.
When meeting arrangements are constantly last-minute and you only get to see him at random times on random days, then it is no coincidence. It’s a clear sign you are the side chick, and he is trying hard to fit you into his life without getting caught.
6. He Doesn’t Make Future Plans With You
Men are generally visionary beings. When a man is in a committed relationship with only you, he will picture a future with you in his life and he will probably talk about his investment plans with you and even his desire to marry you and start a family with you.
If he never discusses his future plans with you, then he probably doesn’t see you in it and it’s a sign you are the side chick.